(9 got p00ped | run a lap around the dining room table) [10 Apr 2008|01:13pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | the city. ] I can't think about anything but August. This place is noisy and stagnant.  I can't concentrate at all.  I find myself in a repetitive cycle of sitting on my bed staring at a spot on the wall until my next class.  I'm not doing my papers anymore, which doesn't really matter as long as I turn them in before the year is over because my one paper-oriented class is pointless.  My grades are acceptable, so I don't really care.  I'm pretty much just waiting. As much time as I spend with Colin, I'm never actually alone with him.  Kissing in common rooms is awkward.  We're rarely intimate anymore, but at least it's not for lack of trying.  I know he's crazy about me, and I'm crazy about him, and that's all I really care about. I've really got to buckle down and find time to find a good job for the summer, because with the new fashion requirements and expenses, God knows I need the money.  I feel terrible spending my parents' money.  Obviously they don't mind, they're my parents, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind me helping out, either.  I'm going to need a mac book for design programs, a standard dress form [approx. $500], sewing materials like threads, linens, decent scissors, french curve rulers, etc., plus the cost of furniture and food.  and a car would be nice. I want to grow my hair out and buy pretty sundresses and be a girl.  I want to go to beach with the both of you [oh please oh please can we at least try], if only for a day, just to see and hear the ocean.  I want to draw with sidewalk chalk and ride my bike and eat cookie dough and have sleepovers where I actually stay awake and be a kid again, because this whole "life" thing is just too stressful.  I find it funny how last year I craved distance and independence, and now all I want is my friends and my bed and my dog.  The simple comforts I took for granted.  I wonder how I ever got sick of them.  I want my mommyyyy.  Well, maybe not. I love you both. .

(1 got p00ped | run a lap around the dining room table) [01 Jan 2007|06:44pm] i am really, really sorry.  i'm a flake and a bad friend and i should be smacked.  i had an awful new years-serves me right.  things are not so good. i really just want to hang out with you two.  and i'm feeling even worse because my xmas gifts for you two stink to high heaven.  no seriously, they are SO pathetically lame and useless and BAD.  please please comment/call me. and let's hang out sometime this week? or maybe we can boum this coming weekend? iiif you forgive meee.  i love you guys.

[26 Apr 2005|10:13pm]

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